


A History Review

by GiulsTheGrey



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: And doing it wrong, Doing homework, Gen, Godparents Aziraphale and Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiulsTheGrey/pseuds/GiulsTheGrey
Summary: There is nothing easier than writing a history essay with the help of two immortal beings... is there?
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley & Adam Young (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	A History Review

Can you think of an occasion in which some people approach you and greet you warmly? In which they are so happy to see you and ask you how this and that is going? In which you wonder: who, for heaven’s (or hell’s) sake, are these people? But they are so enthusiastic about seeing you that you don’t dare tell them you have no idea who they are. So you smile, nod, and try to play along, hoping they won’t notice that you have really no clue.

Got it? Well, this is what Arthur and Deirdre Young were going through the first(?) time they met the two most peculiar men in their circle of friends(?): Mr Fell and Mr Crowley. The thing is, you don’t forget unusual people as the two of them, you don’t forget a very well mannered, old-fashioned librarian paired with a weird-walking stylish ginger businessman (? Tattoo artist? Disco owner? Mafia leader?). But they _must_ have known them already because Mr Fell had brought cake and asked if Deirdre’s mother had recovered from the stroke she had in July (and yes, she had) while Mr Crowley… Well, Mr Crowley had talked all the time about old cars with Arthur and there aren’t many people who knew that Arthur is passionate about old cars. Definitely old acquaintances then.

Adam seemed the most excited about the two guests (most unusual, he usually didn’t like grown-ups) and had drowned them in questions: How’s the Bentley? And the bookshop? Did you two sort it out? and so on. The Youngs had meant to discretely question him that evening but had somehow forgotten to do so.

After that first time, the couple’s visits became regular: they would come at least once a month, if not twice. Eventually they even bought a small cottage just outside Tadfield and would invite the Young family, sometimes even Adam’s friends, Anathema and Newt. At that point, even if the question of how they had met in the very first place remained, they all were truly friends. And that is why the next summer Deirdre asked Aziraphale (Mr Fell’s first name. It had taken her quite a long time to get it but she had managed without asking, an accomplishment of which she was very proud) to look after Adam while she and Arthur went on holiday. “It’s our anniversary, you see, and I can’t ask my mother, she’s too old to take care of such a dynamic child” she explained. “Don’t worry, my dear Deirdre, it will be our pleasure!” Aziraphale smiled.

“Are you sure it won’t be a problem for your husband?” (this one was another assumption: she hadn’t dared to ask but you don’t call a friend ‘angel’, do you? So husband it is).

The man laughed, “He pretends to be too cool for this kind of things but he actually likes children. And besides,” he added with a wink, “he would do anything I ask.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you” Deirdre replied. “Just make sure Adam doesn’t eat too many sweets and that he does some of his homework, would you?”

***

That is how Adam Young ended up doing an history research with Aziraphale and Crowley. You would think that writing such an essay with the help of two immortal beings would be easy: they had been there since the beginning after all, hadn’t they? No. Well, yes, they _had been_ there, but no, it _isn’t_ easy because first, they both have their own version of how things really played out (and usually it’s nowhere near what the school books say) and second, they tend to blur the centuries and the wars together.

The exact assignment was to choose an important figure in the United Kingdoms’ history and write something about them and their time.

“What about Joan of Arc? She was French but she was important during the Hundred Years’ War between the Kingdom of England and France” Adam asked.

“Oh, a very lovely young woman” Aziraphale sighed in the same moment in which Crowley muttered, “A bloody fool, really.”

“Now now, my dear! Why would you say such a thing? I mean, there aren’t many girls who would leave their home and go to fight for their country!”

“Exactly my point! You must be an idiot to do so. Just because she thought God was speaking to her! Wait, was _God_ speaking to her?”

“Er…” Aziraphale stuttered, “No, it wasn’t God. No.”

“Wait,” Crowley said, “wait a moment. It was you!”

“Yes, if you must know!” Aziraphale finally conceded. “Heaven sent me precise instructions: the Dauphin of France had to be crowned, they didn’t explain why, and apparently only a young farmer would do!”

“So you… showed up and pretended to be God?”

“Of course not! I wouldn’t dare! She… simply assumed that and I… let her?”

“I read she was burned alive because they accused her of being a heretic, in the end” Adam intervened.

“Sadly, she was” was Aziraphale’s response.

“Nah, she wasn’t” was Crowley’s.

“My dear, aren’t you thinking of someone else? I wasn’t there to see it – I felt rather guilty, you know – but everyone knows she was accused of heresy and burned in Rouen!”

“Er…,” Crowley hesitated, “I might have stopped time to, er, free her from the pyre? And replaced her with a mannequin? And just asked her to scream from under the butcher’s podium?”

“You WHAT?”

“Oh, come on! She was just a kid! And… and it would piss Upstairs of course.”

“Upstairs didn’t have a clue, Crowley.”

“Too bad, then. A lot of effort for nothing.” Aziraphale couldn’t help but smile fondly at that.

Adam rolled his eyes. “Better not to write about Joan of Arc then. Can you tell me something about… Shakespeare maybe?”

“Just that he was a thief of lines” the demon mumbled.

“Will you _ever_ stop resenting him?” the angel complained. “He was a great artist. Did you know that Crowley here helped him write _Romeo and Juliet_?”

“Wicked!” Adam exclaimed.

“Nononono, I didn’t help him” the demon protested. “As I said before, he stole my ideas.”

“Didn’t you tell me the two of you met quite often while I was in Edinburgh? And that you talked a lot?”

“Yeah, it’s true, but maybe _I_ was gonna write something out of it. He didn’t ask if he could use my… er, _their_ love story!”

“You wouldn’t have had the courage back then, _my Romeo_ ” the angel teased him.

Adam was a bit confused: were Crowley and Aziraphale identifying with Romeo and Juliet? He hoped not, it would have been too sappy to stand. “Shakespeare’s out too, then” he said quickly.

“What about Freddie?” the demon proposed.

“Freddie Johnson the neighbour?” Adam asked, slightly puzzled.

“What? No, I meant Freddie Mercury. I was a friend of his, you know.”

“I still don’t know who you are talking about.”

“Kids these days” Crowley muttered.

“Oh, he was a famous singer, my dear. In that bebop band called Queen” Aziraphale explained.

“For the last time, angel, it’s not bebop!” Crowley tried to explicate but Aziraphale went on, “They were quite successful back in the 1970s. And 1980s.”

“And still are. The thing is, Adam, they made history” Crowley cut in. “You can’t not know who they are! For the Bentley’s and my own sake, I’ll have to introduce you to their music. From where should I start?”

“Let’s start from writing this essay,” Aziraphale asserted, “you can listen to music later.”

The demon rolled his eyes but nodded, then added in a conspiratorial whisper, “Aziraphale was jealous of Freddie and he’s still a bit stiff about it.”

“That’s not true” the angel retorted, blushing furiously.

***

They ended up spending more time discussing about whom Adam should write his essay than actually overseeing him writing it. Further suggestions included Oscar Wilde (“Oh dear, I’m still not over his terrible fate”) and Charles Darwin (“Haha, the fool! _On the Origin of Species_ always makes me laugh… Isn’t it funny how hard some humans work to invent these crazy theories?”), but eventually they settled on Queen Elizabeth I, who they both claimed to have righteously / vilely inspired.

“She brought splendour to her kingdom and was one of the most beloved monarchs ever. She must be one of us!”

“Didn’t she have her cousin killed, though? Must be _my_ lot.”

“Whatever” Aziraphale sighed, “I think it will be better if Adam just reads his book about her. But you can ask us anything, dear.”

“It’s probably for the best, yeah” was Adam’s comment.

So, Adam wrote about the great Queen Elizabeth I. Being an admirer of sea battles, he spent a lot of words about the defeat of the Spanish Armada in 1588. Aziraphale read the essay once it was finished and complimented the boy. He wasn’t very sure about the part in which the kraken destroyed the Spanish ships with its mighty tentacles but why would someone write such a thing in a school essay (which was supposed to be assessed) if they weren’t sure about its accuracy?

***

You might wonder, once back to school, what did the teacher think of Adam’s essay? Sadly, you’ll never know because the day in which Adam should have handed over the assignment, he forgot it at home and, to placate his teacher’s disappointment, he claimed that Dog had eaten it.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s not that I’m obsessed with Romeo and Juliet but apparently Shakespeare was one of the first to use ‘angel’ as a pet name.
> 
> If you liked it, you may also enjoy my other oneshot (https://archiveofourown.org/works/26477902) and this longer story (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27104989/chapters/66186355)!


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